Jokes – the time pass

‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’

You know what I did before I married Anything I wanted to!!

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today.

You grow up the day you have first real laugh – at yourself

You Grandma’s so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.

You Grandma’s so stupid when I tell her it’s chilly outside, she goes to fetch a bowl.

You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color – I’m now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!